“I’m a single mother and my son has extreme separation nervousness. How do I deal with this?”

It’s a must to perceive that he’s been deserted. He doesn’t have a dad and he could also be at that age the place he’s realizing it. “Oh, different individuals have a dad, I don’t. That’s not regular to not have a dad. Everybody else has a dad”, so it’s like an consciousness kind of factor and he’s making an attempt to deal with it.

He is perhaps pondering, “Nicely, perhaps I did one thing to make my dad go away. What if I did? What if I make mother go away?” There could possibly be a variety of fears there. He misplaced his dad and doesn’t actually perceive why. Will he additionally lose you?

So he’s “checking” with you each 5 minutes, so to talk, as a result of he’s afraid that he may do one thing to make you permit; ou received’t come again then he’s on their lonesome. It’s concern and he could not even understand it; he in all probability doesn’t.

The very best issues to do, could be to proceed to inform him EVERY DAY how a lot you like him, that as a lot will depend on you, you’ll by no means go away him. You promise that you simply’re all the time there for him and simply frequently reassure him.

Let him be clingy as a result of when you push him away, it’s simply feeding into his concern that he’s doing one thing to make you permit. He’ll assume, “Why doesn’t mother need me? Why doesn’t she love me?” Simply proceed to REASSURE him, all by way of the day, “Hey I’m right here, I like you, I’m proper right here. I’m not going anyplace, I like you.”

I feel it’s extra about reassurance than something. Be clingy BACK! I do know you must work, I do know you will have one million issues to do as a single mother and I get that, imagine me! However, contain him MORE in what you do. Are you able to discover a “job”, a activity for him to do, that when you’re working, he may also help? what can he do that will help you extra? Can he empty the dishwasher when you’re doing one thing?

The extra useful he feels, the extra he’ll really feel related to you. Such as you want him, you need him, he’s beneficial to you. Keep in mind that it’s only a stage proper now, however an essential one. He must really feel such as you’re not going to depart, so simply proceed to work on that. Numerous additional cuddles, go as much as him with out him coming to you, and say, “I like you, gimme a hug,” or “Can I cuddle with you?”

YOU go to him, you pursue him. You be extra clingy to him. He in all probability feels the necessity to really feel wished. His dad doesn’t need him or he’d be there, in his thoughts. He left. So he’s anxious you don’t love him both. 

This additionally is perhaps the start of him creating his persona and we must always domesticate that, not run from it.

I’m a VERY clingy individual. It’s who I’m. I wish to all the time be with my future husband. I don’t need him to depart ever. I don’t need him to work exterior the house. I’ve been left…my complete life. My dad’s deserted us. My ex-husband. My church, my pals. I imply, I’ve been deserted, so I’m clingy. I’m not ashamed of it. I LIKE that I’m clingy. I feel it makes me a greater individual. 💯

With my future husband, I dream of simply laying in mattress holding one another and cuddling all day lengthy not less than sooner or later per week. ❤️ It’s my favourite (my love language), so I perceive how he could possibly be feeling and at that age, not with the ability to even understand it or put it into phrases how he’s feeling. Is bodily contact or high quality time (cuddling with you, holding you, being round you, and so on.) his love language? Is that how HE reads love?

I feel that at sure occasions in our lives, everybody goes by way of a clingy stage. Don’t you miss/wish to have a person maintain you once more? I do know that you simply do. All of us wanna be clingy at occasions. It’s not dangerous, or bizarre, or mistaken! we simply want that, we should be liked. we ALL do. ❤️ He’s okay. Nothing is mistaken with him. It’s regular to wish to be wished.

That’s kinda how he’s feeling. Scared, concern, fearful of abandonment, needing love. Absorb that point, get pleasure from it, as a result of youngsters develop WAY too quick and fairly quickly, he’ll be gone and also you’ll by no means get these treasured, tender moments again! Benefit from the stage that he’s in, treasure it! It leaves approach too shortly!