

Retirement is meant to be the golden period of rest, journey, and time nicely spent with the individuals you like. However for a lot of {couples}, the minute one or each spouses go away the workforce, the fantasy shortly turns into friction. Why? Social Safety—extra particularly, all the things they thought they knew about it.
A long time of misinformation, sophisticated guidelines, and adjustments to this system have led to a number of myths that {couples} solely confront when it’s nearly too late. These myths don’t simply trigger confusion. They trigger arguments. About when to file, how a lot you’re owed, who will get what, and whether or not you’ll be able to even belief the system in any respect.
Let’s break down the seven Social Safety myths that gasoline essentially the most fights amongst {couples} and how one can keep away from falling into these traps when retirement lastly arrives.
1. “We Ought to Each Declare Advantages As Quickly As We Can.”
Social Safety means that you can begin collecting benefits as early as age 62. However what many individuals don’t notice is that doing so completely reduces your month-to-month payout. In case you wait till your full retirement age (usually 66 to 67, relying on whenever you have been born), you get your full profit. Wait even longer (as much as age 70), and your profit truly will increase resulting from delayed retirement credit.
In {couples} the place each spouses retire across the identical time, the urge to assert early and “get pleasure from life now” could be robust. But when one partner is in good well being and has an extended life expectancy, delaying their advantages can imply 1000’s extra per yr in family earnings afterward, particularly for the surviving partner. Arguments typically begin when one companion feels strain to delay for the sake of the opposite, or worse, when somebody claims too early with out consulting their partner. Timing issues, and choices ought to be made collectively.
2. “If I Die First, You’ll Get My Full Profit Robotically”
One other emotional set off in retirement discussions comes from assuming the surviving partner will routinely obtain the deceased companion’s full Social Safety profit. Sadly, that’s not at all times true. Right here’s the way it actually works: the surviving partner is entitled to obtain the upper of the 2 advantages—however not each. In case your partner passes away, you received’t acquire their test along with your personal. You’ll get whichever is larger, however it’s possible you’ll lose the smaller profit totally.
This can be a critical subject for {couples} the place one companion had considerably decrease lifetime earnings, labored part-time, or didn’t work exterior the house. Many stay-at-home dad and mom count on they’ll routinely inherit their companion’s full payout, however that’s solely true in the event that they qualify for the survivor profit and meet sure age standards.
Not understanding this rule has left many widows and widowers in monetary chaos. It’s finest to plan for survivor benefits now—not after it’s too late to regulate.
3. “We Each Labored, So Spousal Advantages Don’t Apply to Us”
Spousal advantages aren’t only for households with one earnings. If one partner earned considerably greater than the opposite, or if one had a non-traditional work historical past, it would make extra monetary sense for the decrease earner to assert a spousal profit fairly than their very own.
A spousal profit permits one companion to assert as much as 50% of the opposite’s full retirement profit. This could be a higher deal in case your private work file doesn’t qualify you for a lot by yourself.
Arguments come up when one partner insists on “claiming their very own” out of pleasure or misunderstanding. In actuality, coordinating advantages for optimum family earnings is sensible—not an indication of weak spot or dependence.
4. “As soon as We File, We Can Simply Change Our Thoughts Later”
When you file for Social Safety, reversing that call is difficult. There’s a one-time, 12-month window the place you’ll be able to withdraw your software, however provided that you pay again all the advantages you’ve obtained to date.
{Couples} generally make rushed submitting choices solely to later notice they need to’ve waited. By then, their month-to-month cost is locked in for all times, and there’s no going again except you’re keen and capable of repay all the things.
This fantasy may cause critical resentment between companions, particularly if one feels rushed into submitting early resulting from worry, strain, or misinformation. Be completely positive you’re making the fitting transfer earlier than submitting.

5. “Social Safety Is Going Bankrupt, So We Have to Seize Ours Now”
Worry round the way forward for Social Safety is comprehensible. You’ve seemingly seen headlines warning this system will “run out of cash” within the coming a long time. Whereas the belief fund is projected to be depleted by the 2030s, that doesn’t imply advantages will vanish.
Even with out full funding, payroll taxes would nonetheless cowl about 75–80% of present advantages. Lawmakers are additionally prone to intervene with adjustments earlier than advantages are slashed.
Nonetheless, panic leads many to assert early, solely to remorse locking in a smaller test for all times. The parable of complete collapse is overstated. It’s higher to make choices primarily based in your private longevity, financial savings, and earnings wants. Not fear-driven headlines.
6. “Divorce Means I Misplaced All My Declare to Your Social Safety”
This fantasy typically surfaces in later-life divorces, and it results in pointless stress, particularly for long-married spouses. The reality is, should you have been married for 10 years or extra, you should still be entitled to assert a spousal profit primarily based in your ex-spouse’s work file. You don’t want their permission, and it received’t scale back what they or their new partner receives.
{Couples} typically don’t notice this rule applies to ex-spouses, which might trigger arguments in blended households or second marriages. It’s value investigating your eligibility, particularly if your personal profit is considerably decrease.
7. “Social Safety Is Meant to Cowl Every thing We’ll Want in Retirement”
Maybe essentially the most harmful fantasy of all is the concept Social Safety alone can maintain two individuals all through retirement. For the typical American, Social Safety replaces solely about 40% of pre-retirement earnings.
Relying solely on Social Safety is a monetary danger few {couples} can afford. And but, many uncover this actuality too late—after they’ve left the workforce, downsized, and assumed the checks would stretch additional than they do.
Disagreements typically come up when one companion needs to proceed working or saving whereas the opposite believes they’ve already “earned their relaxation.” A wholesome retirement wants greater than nostalgia—it wants a method.
Planning Collectively Is the Actual Retirement Aim
Retirement isn’t nearly amassing a test. It’s about constructing a life-style collectively. Social Safety is a key piece of that puzzle, however misunderstanding the principles (or one another) can result in extra than simply monetary losses. It might probably result in resentment, battle, and worry.
Take time to grasp this system earlier than you declare. Discuss truthfully about your targets, your fears, and your monetary actuality. Retirement doesn’t must be a battlefield. It may be a shared victory so long as you’re each studying the identical rulebook.
What’s one Social Safety fantasy you or somebody you understand believed till retirement made it private?
Learn Extra:
10 Times It Makes More Sense to Take Your Spouse’s Social Security
Riley is an Arizona native with over 9 years of writing expertise. From private finance to journey to digital advertising and marketing to popular culture, she’s written about all the things below the solar. When she’s not writing, she’s spending her time exterior, studying, or cuddling together with her two corgis.